As the Salamander scouting party stalks through the drowned ruins of Liam Tor, it suddenly stumbles upon a ragtag band of the seemingly slower-witted offspring of the Great Khan. Of course the intel on this place would be wrong. What was supposed to be a bridgehead on this forsaken place turns out to be crawling with vermin. Throne, what madness could motivate a once-proud chapter that made mobile warfare it's greatest weapon to thrudge through the viscous waters of Liam Tor? Surely it could only be penance, or to try to wash the ingrained stench of their horse bedmates off them...
As they witnessed a Grey Scar mounted patrol patrolling through the thick waters at a break-neck speed of what surely must have been 2.6 mph, alarms started to chime. Some marines jumped into their idle Land Speeder, and made for the anti-air defenses, punched the throttle all the way down, flooded their engine, and promptly got stuck in an unimpressive patch of loose seaweed. They were now sitting ducks for the brothers roaring down from orbit. Their meltaguns would certainly make short work of that speeder, ensuring a swift taking of the right flank.
Ah, but it seems the simpletons were not without a surprise of their own! On jets of fire, the Scars managed to launch a drop pod themselves, aimed it squarely in the middle of the Salamander scouting party, but did not take into account the currents, as they floated helplessly off course, flooding their engine and promptly got stuck in another unimpressive patch of seaweed. Certainly, one would have expected their Techmarines to have applied some sort of defense against the intrusion of water in the time they had been here? As the drowning idiots finally disembarked from their vehicle, they pointed their meltagun at the noble Land Speeder "Speed of Flame", impressing the marines within with a rather excellent demostration of the effects of water on a heat-based weapon: *fizzle*. The scouting party's Centurions decided to help the poor fools out of their miserie, vaporizing them in a single volley. it was like shooting fish in a barrel.
As the Salamanders kept dropping at key strategic locations, the Scars kept pouring out of the water-logged woodwork. Throne, but there were many of them! As the mounted patrol got closer towards G'thang's lines, a screaching roar overhead anounced the arrival of the Salamanders air support. As well over half of the patrol was obliterated by stitching assault cannon fire and accurate missile salvo's, it seemed the enemy's commander did not take a hint easily, charging on through schoals of silvery sealife towards the brother-librarian witha break-neck speed of what surely must've been 2.6 mph... Yet the delay caused by the Salamanders adjusting their weapon's tracker setting from "normal" to "Granny's Grocery Shopping Speed" proved just enough to allow remains of the patrol to hit G'thang's in melee combat, eventually disabling our commander as the bikers obviously had no idea what the purpose of the handlebars in front of them was, crashing into the luckless librarian.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the vast watery expanse, a personal and bitter vendetta was unfolding, as a full-strength tactical squad of the idiots, who apparently also found out you should really put a water-tight sleeve over your meltaguns in these moist conditions, were really intent on taking out one of the Salamader drop pods with sharp clams, oister knives and some rather pointy ends of driftwood under the encouraging shouts of yet another full-strength tactical squad. It goes without saying that the paintjob suffered quite a few scratches, but Emperor it makes for some hilarious footage! The records were uploaded swiftly unto AquilaTube, and I have been informed the Inquisitional fortresses in the adjacent 15 sectors shook as the hysterical laughter of hundreds of audit teams sounded for the first time since 435.M33.
But alas, there is no underestimating the strength of idiots in large numbers, and eventually G'thang, regaining conciousness, ordered a swift fallback. The scouting party has played it's role, testing the waters. For now, there are bigger fish in the sea. It does not seem that these degenerates posed a real threat, we will certainly be back to deal with them later.
